Supplication in Fear (50)

وَ كَانَ مِنْ دُعَائِهِ عَلَيْهِ السَّلَامُ فِي الرَّهْبَةِ
His Supplication in Fear
Translated by William Chittick

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ خَلَقْتَنِي سَوِيّاً ،

O God, Thou created me without fault,

وَ رَبَّيْتَنِي صَغِيراً ،

nurtured me when small,

وَ رَزَقْتَنِي مَكْفِيّاً،

and provided me with sufficiency.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي وَجَدْتُ فِيمَا أَنْزَلْتَ مِنْ كِتَابِكَ ،

O God, I found in the Book which Thou sent down

وَ بَشَّرْتَ بِهِ عِبَادَكَ

and through which Thou gave good news to Thy servants,

أَنْ قُلْتَ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمْ

that Thou said, My servants who hare been prodigal against yourselves,

لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ ،

do not despair of God's mercy,

إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعاً ،

surely God forgives all sins,

وَ قَدْ تَقَدَّمَ مِنِّي مَا قَدْ عَلِمْتَ و

but there has gone ahead from me what Thou knowest

 مَا أَنْتَ أَعْلَمُ بِهِ مِنِّي ،

and of which Thou knowest more than I!

فَيَا سَوْأَتَا مِمَّا أَحْصَاهُ عَلَيَّ كِتَابُكَ

O the shame of what Thy Book has counted against me!

فَلَوْ لَا الْمَوَاقِفُ الَّتِي

Were it not for the places

أُؤَمِّلُ مِنْ عَفْوِكَ الَّذِي شَمِلَ كُلَّ شَيْ‏ءٍ

where I expectantly hope for Thy pardon, which enfolds all things,

لَأَلْقَيْتُ بِيَدِي ،

I would have thrown myself down [in despair]!

وَ لَوْ أَنَّ أَحَداً اسْتَطَاعَ الْهَرَبَ مِنْ رَبِّهِ

Were anyone able to flee from his Lord,

لَكُنْتُ أَنَا أَحَقَّ بِالْهَرَبِ مِنْكَ ،

I would be the most obligated to flee from Thee!

وَ أَنْتَ لَا تَخْفَى عَلَيْكَ خَافِيَةٌ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَ لَا فِي السَّمَاءِ

But not a secret in earth and heaven is concealed from Thee,

إِلَّا أَتَيْتَ بِهَا ،

except that Thou bringest it.

وَ كَفَى بِكَ جَازِياً ، وَ كَفَى بِكَ حَسِيباً .

Thou sufficest as a recompenser! Thou sufficest as a reckoner!

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ طَالِبِي إِنْ أَنَا هَرَبْتُ ،

O God,  surely Thou wouldst seek me if I flee

وَ مُدْرِكِي إِنْ أَنَا فَرَرْتُ ،

and catch me if I run.

فَهَا أَنَا ذَا بَيْنَ يَدَيْكَ خَاضِعٌ ذَلِيلٌ رَاغِمٌ ،

So here I am before Thee, abject, lowly, abased.

إِنْ تُعَذِّبْنِي فَإِنِّي لِذَلِكَ أَهْلٌ ،

If Thou chastisest me, I am worthy of that,

وَ هُوَ يَا رَبِّ مِنْكَ عَدْلٌ ،

and it would be, my Lord, an act of justice from Thee.

وَ إِنْ تَعْفُ عَنِّي

But if Thou pardonest me,

فَقَدِيماً شَمَلَنِي عَفْوُكَ ، وَ أَلْبَسْتَنِي عَافِيَتَكَ .

anciently has Thy pardon enfolded me and Thy well-being garmented me!

فَأَسْأَلُكَ اللَّهُمَّ بِالْمَخْزُونِ مِنْ أَسْمَائِكَ ،

So I ask Thee, O God, by Thy names stored in Thy treasury

وَ بِمَا وَارَتْهُ الْحُجُبُ مِنْ بَهَائِكَ ،

and Thy splendour masked by the veils!

إِلَّا رَحِمْتَ هَذِهِ النَّفْسَ الْجَزُوعَةَ ،

If Thou hast no mercy upon this anxious soul

وَ هَذِهِ الرِّمَّةَ الْهَلُوعَةَ ،

and these uneasy, decaying bones -

الَّتِي لَا تَسْتَطِيعُ حَرَّ شَمْسِكَ ،

he cannot endure the heat of Thy sun,

فَكَيْفَ تَسْتَطِيعُ حَرَّ نَارِكَ ،

so how can he endure the heat of Thy Fire?

وَ الَّتِي لَا تَسْتَطِيعُ صَوْتَ رَعْدِكَ ،

He cannot endure the sound of Thy thunder,

فَكَيْفَ تَسْتَطِيعُ صَوْتَ غَضَبِكَ

so how can he endure the sound of Thy wrath?

فَارْحَمْنِيَ اللَّهُمَّ فَإِنِّي امْرُؤٌ حَقِيرٌ ،

So have mercy upon me, O God, for I am a vile man

وَ خَطَرِي يَسِيرٌ ،

and my worth is little.

وَ لَيْسَ عَذَابِي مِمَّا يَزِيدُ فِي مُلْكِكَ مِثْقَالَ ذَرَّةٍ ،

Chastising me will not add the weight of a dust mote to Thy kingdom.

وَ لَوْ أَنَّ عَذَابِي مِمَّا يَزِيدُ فِي مُلْكِكَ

Were chastising me something that would add to Thy kingdom,

لَسَأَلْتُكَ الصَّبْرَ عَلَيْهِ ،

I would ask Thee for patience to bear it

وَ أَحْبَبْتُ أَنْ يَكُونَ ذَلِكَ لَكَ ،

and would love for it to belong to Thee;

وَلَكِنْ سُلْطَانُكَ اللَّهُمَّ أَعْظَمُ ،

but Thy authority, my God, is mightier,

وَ مُلْكُكَ أَدْوَمُ مِنْ أَنْ تَزِيدَ فِيهِ طَاعَةُ الْمُطِيعِينَ ،

and Thy kingdom more lasting, than that the obedience of the obeyers should increase it

أَوْ تَنْقُصَ مِنْهُ مَعْصِيَةُ الْمُذْنِبِينَ .

or the disobedience of the sinners diminish it!

فَارْحَمْنِي

So have mercy upon me,

يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِينَ ،

O Most Merciful of the merciful!

وَ تَجَاوَزْ عَنِّي

Show me forbearance,

يَا ذَا الْجَلَالِ وَ الْإِكْرَامِ ،

O Possessor of majesty and munificence!

وَ تُبْ عَلَيَّ ، إِنَّكَ أَنْتَ التَّوَّابُ الرَّحِيمُ .

And turn toward me, urely Thou art Ever-turning, All-compassionate!